Cleaning the Slate

Okay...so it has been a while since I blogged...I have been a little busy. A friend emailed me this morning and said she is in need of some humor. I hate to disappoint her, but I don't really have any humor in me today. I am just a little down today.

Do you ever feel like just packing up and moving away to a new place and starting fresh? That's how I feel today. I told Jason last night that I wish we could sell the house and move somewhere where no one knows us and just start over.

I am not going into a lot of detail, but I have a lot going on in my life right now and I have made mistakes (as everyone has) and I have disappointed people. For the people who know me well, you know that I am a worrier. I worry about what people think of me, I worry about gaining approval, I worry about being a perfectionist. Not sure what it ties back to....but it is a character flaw....and I am a big enough girl to admit it.

I tend to obsess on tasks that I am given and I want them to be perfect. But sometimes in the middle of the task, we become so focused on the "work" that we lose out in other areas.

I would like to say right here to whoever is reading this....if I have ever hurt your feelings, said a cross word to you, had an attitude with you, taken advantage of you or taken you for granted.....I would sincerely like to apologize to you. I will admit...I have a bad habit of speaking before I think...and I don't have much of a filter. I am opinionated and sometimes it gets me in trouble. But with that being said....I am not a mean spirited/cold hearted person. I don't purposely set out to hurt anyone. If you know me at all....I have a hard exterior...kinda like a turtle, I guess....to protect myself from people getting too close and being hurt. But inside, I am a big softy who cries at the drop of a hat. I don't like drama or conflict/confrontation, etc....

I really feel like I am rambling here....but I guess that maybe this blog today is more for me....a therapy of sorts. I am sorry I don't have a funny story to tell today....maybe tomorrow will be better.

Emotional Tears.....

Well...as I am write these words I am wiping the flow of tears from my face. I am a little emotional today. For various reasons. The most recent being something fairly simple, I guess. I have been watching the girls gymnastics and the award ceremony. I am proud of both the US and China. The US placed Gold and Silver, with China making Bronze. The girls are so amazing and so talented. I don't really know why the award ceremony is making my cry. I guess b/c my child is taking gymnastics and she told me the other night "I want to be in the Olympics". I am partial to the gymnasts. Also...for obvious reasons I pull for both sides....I love the US and support our athletes...but I also dearly love China. It is a beautiful country with beautiful people. I will always have huge love for the country and its people and I hope Emma Grace does as well.

Another reason for the flow of tears....I spent this afternoon/evening at the funeral home paying my final respects for my aunt. I am saddened by her loss. She was 1 of 14 children and the last remaining child. My grandfather, who I was extremely close to, was her brother. As a child, when I would spend time at my grandparents in the summer, Aunt Opal would always come over. She would always make comments as to "how spoiled I was" by my granddaddy or "how crazy we were about each other". So tonight, as I sat and watched the slide show of family pictures (many of my grandfather), it was a little like saying goodbye to him all over again. He was a wonderful man and a wonderful example of a Godly man....hard working, honest, husband and father. He always was and will always be my hero.
I originally had more that I wanted to say, but at this point.....I just cant go any further.

Rest in Peace, Aunt Opal......we will miss you!

Out of the mouths of babes...

My baby girl brings so much laughter to our home...she just cracks me up sometimes with things she says. Other times she amazes me with her innocent wisdom.

Today we rode with my mom to Knoxville to pick a friend of hers up who has been staying with her daughter and son in law. As we were getting ready to leave, Emma Grace was trying to convince me to sit in the back seat with her. This is the conversation that transpired...

Me: No, baby, I am going to sit in the front.

EG: (whiny voice) But who is going to sit back there with me?

Me: Jesus

EG: (continually growing whiny voice) But I want someone who is real

Me: Jesus is real

EG: (really annoyed now) But I want somebody real that I can play with!

Needless to say, when we got in the car we had a long discussion about how Jesus is real and He is always with you, even though you can't see Him. She has never really seemed to think about this concept until lately and she is having a hard time with it.

Jump forward several shopping and traveling hours later....we are "trying" to find our friends house based on Mapquest directions....which I am convinced was created by the devil!! So....we are lost...I am trying to help mom and figure out where we are going and Emma Grace is wanting to CONTINUALLY talk.....no idea where she gets that from...;0). Here is that conversation...

Me: Emma Grace honey, please be quiet for a few minutes. We are lost and trying to figure out where we are going.

EG: But we are already found....

Me: We are? Who found us?

EG: Jesus....He came down from Heaven and He found us

Isn't that the sweetest thing? I'm tellin ya....you can't make this stuff up. The girl amazes me.....she is such a little wonder.

I am blessed beyond what I deserve.

Future Olympian??

Emma Grace has been taking gymnastics for a year at Charles Harding Gymnastics and she really enjoys it. If you are interested in gymnastics....I think they are the best around. I know I am her mother and I have to say this....but she really is good. They had an open house Saturday and each class got to "perform" for friends, family and visitors.

Emma Grace did so good....and she loved the crowd. When she would finish a routine, she would look out at the crowd and just smile. So cute!! I am so proud of her. She has come so far in 1 year. She has faced her fear of the balance beam and it has helped with her coordination.

We sat down tonight to watch the Olympics and she watched so intently. She would get up and try to do what the girls were doing. I was amazed at the training that the girls in China go through and what they do at such a young age.

Emma Grace said on numerous events through the night...."I wish I could do that". We encouraged her to keep it up and stick with it and she will be able to do those things one day. Then she said, "I want to be in the Olympics when I get big." Big dreams for such a little girl....but I would love to see her achieve that dream. Jason and I will encourage her dreams and her skills.....but we will make sure that those dreams don't replace a close walk with God and a life of ministry and service to Him. For now....she is just a sweet little girl who loves to do flips and cartwheels.

3 Little Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf

Well...this weekend was so eventful. Friday night, my friend Ashley had a "girls night" party. No husbands....no kids....just good friends eating, laughing, talking, makeovering and pranking.....not much sleeping involved in this sleepover. Speaking of pranking....these girls are pranksters. There were 6 of us sitting around talking and we heard some knocking type noises outside. Faintly at first, then progressively louder. Ashley and Amanda got up to go check it out....in the hallway....not sure what they expected in there. :) Anyway....they all started freaking out....really getting "scared". Then Amanda screamed that she saw someone in the backyard. They all jumped up and ran into separate rooms....after they said, "lets turn out all the light inside, so they cant see us in here". Admittedly, I was a little bit worried about the current situation....but thought they were all a little over the top. So, I just stayed right where I was....watching the back door. Cheryl-(who lives right down the street) called her husband and he and a friend came down to check it out. All of a sudden, I saw him....the big bad wolf!! He looked in the door right at me and I waved...then

he ran off. I yelled at the girls that there was someone out there.

So I got to thinking...this is some kind of prank....so I will get them to come clean....I announced..."I'm calling 911". They said, "oh, but Daran and Austin are coming to check things out". I proceeded with my call. About this time, Austin and Daran show up and all the girls run outside...very uncharacteristic for a bunch of girls who think someone is outside. So I follow them....b/c I am not going to be left in the house alone and have them send the enemy in after me.

The police asks me to describe the "perp"....and all I had to say was, "he looks like the big bad wolf". The girls tell the guys to leave that the police are coming. We all go back inside and then the girls come clean...they were playing around...but they wouldnt reveal who "the wolf" was. About 10 minutes later, there is a loud knock on the door. We open it to see 3 police officers and "the wolf" standing there with his hands behind his back. They said, "he says he knows you, is this true?" Ashley said, "uhm....can we take the mask off to get a better look?" They take the mask off and it is my cousins husband who lives 1 block over. We start cracking up.....long story short....his wife dropped him off to scare us....she never came back for him, he was waiting for her and hiding behind the house crouched down by the air unit. Austin and Daran saw him and told him to leave that the police were on their way. He thought they were joking so he stayed waiting for his wife. When he finally gave up and decided to walk home, he stood up and flashlights hit his face....BUSTED!!! As one of the officers was running to jump him, he (luckily) recognized 2 of the officers and tells them what is going on. So they decide to have a little fun with it. They were all good sports about it...and Steven was laughing about all of it.

I will admit...I was a little scared about it.....but I dont mess with someone in my back yard.....I have the police on speed dial....and I will call. We laughed and laughed about the nights events and we had a night of fun that we will not forget for a long time!! Can't wait to do it again soon....maybe I will host next time!!

Bittersweet

I am feeling a little bittersweet today. I am so excited about the opening ceremonies of the 2008 Olympics in Beijing that will take place tonight. To be honest, I have never really watched too much of the Olympics....but the fact that China is the host this year...I will be glued to the TV over the next 2 weeks. When we were in China in 2005, we picked up a few Olympic souvenirs...but not as many as I wish. I know things will be crazy over there, but I wish I was there to take it all in!! I wish I had soaked in more of the culture while we were there....but being a tourist and sightseeing was not really what I was there for....so I got into total "mommy mode" and took care of my China girl and was the videographer/photographer. I will relive it all through the magic of video. China is a very beautiful country with some of the most beautiful, gracious,
kind people. Everyone we met on our trip was so nice...we have not one complaint. I can't wait to return there and show my girl the country that we hold so close in our hearts.

On the other hand....I am somewhat sad today. Last night, Jason and I sat up and watched Larry King live and his interview with the Steven Curtis Chapman family as they discussed the loss of their China girl, Maria Sue. My heart hurts with them and it is so hard to watch as they talk about the events of May 21. Steven and Mary Beth held up really well, although you could see the pain on their face. I was very proud of their son, Will Franklin, who is dealing with his own personal loss as he feels so responsible. He is a very mature young man and I know that God is going to bring so much good out of this tragedy. I can't imagine what this family is going through each and every day. If you didn't get a chance to see the interview, here is a portion of the show...Steven Curtis Chapman on Larry King Live. Please continue to keep this family in your prayers. They still need uplighting and support as they continue to mourn. They are a wonderful family who have done so much for the adoption community and the children in China.

We miss you, Maria.....

9 years ago....

Today is a special day for Jason and I. It is our 9 year anniversary. 9 years ago today, I married the most wonderful man. He has become a wonderful husband and a fantastic, loving father. We met on this same day 10 years ago (through a blind date). Before the date was over, I knew he was the man I was going to marry. I had always heard that when you met "mr. right" you will know it....and for me that was so true. I remember so clearly....my mom was in bed when I got home on that Friday night, so I left her a note...."great guy, had a great time, I am going to marry him". And exactly 1 year later, marry him is what I did.

He is a man of God and he loves, takes care of and provides for his family. He sacrifices a lot so that I can stay home with our daughter. And I deeply appreciate that!

In celebration of our anniversary, we went to our favorite restaurant, The Melting Pot. I love this place!! Everything about it is wonderful....the cheese fondue, the salad, the meats, veggies and of course the chocolate fondue. Tonight we tried the Yin Yang chocolate...white chocolate and dark chocolate perfectly swirled together in the Yin Yang design/symbol. Yum, Yum!!

We left completely satisfied and stuffed. I only wish that we could afford to go there more than once a year.

As I think back on our 9 years together as husband and wife, there have been some hard times as well as good, fun times. But through it all, we have walked through it all together and have come out stronger for it.

I am blessed to have a husband who loves me and our daughter so much and a man who follows God and daily strives to walk closer to him.

Happy Anniversary, honey.....I love you!!