Okay...so it has been a while since I blogged...I have been a little busy. A friend emailed me this morning and said she is in need of some humor. I hate to disappoint her, but I don't really have any humor in me today. I am just a little down today.
Do you ever feel like just packing up and moving away to a new place and starting fresh? That's how I feel today. I told Jason last night that I wish we could sell the house and move somewhere where no one knows us and just start over.
I am not going into a lot of detail, but I have a lot going on in my life right now and I have made mistakes (as everyone has) and I have disappointed people. For the people who know me well, you know that I am a worrier. I worry about what people think of me, I worry about gaining approval, I worry about being a perfectionist. Not sure what it ties back to....but it is a character flaw....and I am a big enough girl to admit it.
I tend to obsess on tasks that I am given and I want them to be perfect. But sometimes in the middle of the task, we become so focused on the "work" that we lose out in other areas.
I would like to say right here to whoever is reading this....if I have ever hurt your feelings, said a cross word to you, had an attitude with you, taken advantage of you or taken you for granted.....I would sincerely like to apologize to you. I will admit...I have a bad habit of speaking before I think...and I don't have much of a filter. I am opinionated and sometimes it gets me in trouble. But with that being said....I am not a mean spirited/cold hearted person. I don't purposely set out to hurt anyone. If you know me at all....I have a hard exterior...kinda like a turtle, I guess....to protect myself from people getting too close and being hurt. But inside, I am a big softy who cries at the drop of a hat. I don't like drama or conflict/confrontation, etc....
I really feel like I am rambling here....but I guess that maybe this blog today is more for me....a therapy of sorts. I am sorry I don't have a funny story to tell today....maybe tomorrow will be better.
3 comments:
WOW. SOUNDS LIKE YOU MIGHT HAVE STEPPED INTO A DAY OF MY LIFE! ONLY A FEW OTHER PEOPLE KNOW UNTIL NOW.... BUT BACK IN JUNE I STARTED WORKING W/ A REALTOR IN NORTH CAROLINA. I WAS READY TO MOVE. GET AWAY MOSTLY FROM PEOPLE NOT REALLY PROBLEMS. BUT TRAVIS AND I TALKED ABOUT IT AND DECIDED THAT IF IN 6 MONTHS WE FELT THE SAME WE WOULD CONTINUE BUT FOR NOW WE WILL NOT MAKE ANY HASTY DECISIONS. ALL OF THAT TO SAY THIS: THERE ARE ALWAYS THOSE DAYS WHERE WE WISHED WERE SOMEWHWERE ELSE BESIDES FROM THE PLACE WE ARE. AND I SUPPOSE IF WE WERE AT THE PLACE WE WISHED WERE; WE WOULD STILL HAVE THOSE MOMENTS.
YOU KNOW WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN FLAWS, BAGGAGE, AND HANG-UPS. IF ONLY WE COULD BEGIN TO SEE THAT IS WHAT MAKES US WHO WE ARE AND THE MISTAKES AND THE VICTORIES WE HAVE IS GOING TO MAKE US WHO WE WILL BECOME.
TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY. SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY.~MY NEW QUOTE.
Oh, man, am I feeling a little guilty at the moment. I know exactly what you mean and if we could move to the middle of no where and start over - I'd be gone tomorrow. Love you much and hope today is better!
Denise,
Just wanted to say I LOVE YOU. Never could I imagine you would intentially hurt anyone. Life happens, we are all imperfect. I wish I could give you a big hug!!
Your playgroup friend,
Lisa Z.
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